Dating isn’t an East-West issue.

Considering the views of a lot of people I follow, I may not have the most popular opinion, however I disagree with the dichotomous notion that “Eastern marriage tradition” versus “Western dating” is the reason behind social ills. 

I think that a lot of people have a habit of looking to either very idealized or mainstreamed models and then run with comparisons. Its careless and its also dishonest to imply that something akin to “Western dating” is spreading more than ever. It has been present in many places for a long time, and an extension of certain behaviors exist on a historical basis.

I don’t opt into dating the way people stereotype it, nor do I maintain relations with males that could even been seen as broaching the subject, but that is a matter of both circumstance and personal preference. I do not think that some traditional marriage models come free of issues, and I think that recognizing why there may be a generational disconnect or even problems among people who abide by them is necessary. 

People oversimplify what they hastily label as dating because they find the subject almost dangerous to approach on an elementary level. They cite “Westerners” as subject to unreasonable standards or badly affected. Nevermind that its an awful stereotype of Western society, but it dismisses the fact that even with Western societies there are varying definitions of dating, religiosity and acceptable behavior - there are also cultural divides. The breakdown of those values is subject to a lot of discourse to people who have long lived in such places. As someone with half of her background having been part of American social fabric for hundreds of years, I can assure you that standards revolving around marriage, dating and even common courtesy are often seen as subject to change and criticism over time. Also, necessity has changed the bounds of such contracts causing a constant fluctuation between pragmatic marriage and more “modern” (crap word choice) dynamics. This can be seen with variation in American marriage law and its historical basis in some places.

Anyway, the point of this ramble is simply to point out that while there is certainly a change and even movement away from traditional relationship dynamics in the West, it is absolutely absurd to use a monochromatic depiction of “Western dating” as a springboard for promoting traditional values. There are so many sound ways to promote them, but taking behaviors that have essentially existed everywhere, drawing an East-West divide and lightly citing examples of social ills is a really careless approach. Its not an East-West thing at all. Family values, or the evolution of families as we know it (which is a discussion I’ve never cared for) can be attributed to countless issues.

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  1. roxygen posted this