I just talked to an old friend from Rabat and I realized that I have really fallen out of touch with certain realities and thought processes that I once had a much better grip on.
The variable of time suddenly seemed plain as I almost felt refreshed from a simple diction and thought process that I once knew so well. A mentality that was once familiar has become an old friend in itself.
Its frightening and humbling to think of the distance that has grown between me and a context that is so responsible for who I am today. The collision of context, people and circumstances that shaped me in body and thought are becoming more distant memories. The connection still runs deep, but the comprehension is deteriorating. The smiles I share with those people are little sadder, a little more weighed down with the understanding that we’ve been separated and time guarantees more of it.
I could frame a picture of what I miss, but I can’t take the sentiment or reality with it. I can draw inspiration from it, but I can’t quite feel it the same or know the minds of those I see less. Its as if I am acting the role of a former self, with a two-dimensional view of a former context.
I will never be able to explain this well. I’m just often trying to recapture something that I can only have if I return to the source and remember. Or perhaps simply accept it for what it is; its reality.
This post has 3 notes.
- seinedoll likes this
- mademoisellealiyah likes this
- sweetpath said: you have grown. it is bittersweet.
- roxygen posted this